Site Updates Community

Follow us on social media!

by Hope

1 hour ago

...See more Hi everyone, I hope you all are well. Did you know you can follow 7 Cups on your favorite social media platforms? Social media can be a mixed place, on one end we can find accounts/pages related to all of our favorite things but on the other hand, it can make us compare ourselves to others and sometimes interact with less than positive content. On our social media accounts, we share positive content focusing on inspirational quotes, the great things happening in our community, and what's up in the mental health world with a little fun in between. Our aim is to provide you with content that is good for your mental health. Following 7Cups social media accounts not only makes a positive impact on your feed, but it also helps us reach more people. More people can know about our platform and can benefit from our mission. That's quite a win, win if you ask me! To acknowledge and show our appreciation for the support you show you and us! Everyone who follows the following social media accounts will receive the ‘Super Supporter badge' Instagram - @7Cups [https://www.instagram.com/7cups/] Twitter - @7Cups [https://twitter.com/7cups] & @7CupsTeen [https://twitter.com/7CupsTeen] Facebook - 7CupsOfTea [https://www.facebook.com/7CupsOfTea/] Youtube - 7 Cups of Tea [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYsco2bYgzQzUsLnaO899Qg] LinkedIn - 7-cups [https://www.linkedin.com/company/7-cups] You can also follow 7 Cups Academy on LinkedIn! 7-cups-academy [https://www.linkedin.com/company/7-cups-academy/] Step 1) Hit follow! (We understand that not everyone has accounts on all social media platforms so you can follow the ones that you have accounts on) Step 2) Reply to this thread and let us know that you have followed us!

Distortion 10. Mental Filtering

by Hope

5 hours ago

...See more Hi everyone! How's everyone feeling this week? Thank you for following our cognitive distortion series. It is time to cover the final cognitive distortion of this series called ‘Mental Filtering’. Think of it as a spotlight, but one that illuminates only the negative aspects of your experiences, leaving the positives shrouded in darkness. As with many distortions, you may find it overlapping it with covered distortions but also have a unique element of its own which is why it is covered in a separate post. The difference between mental filter and catastrophizing is, the mental filter is like wearing clouded glasses that don’t allow you to see bright colors, meanwhile catastrophizing is like hearing a fire alarm go off every time you see a candle flicker or a pan show a hint of smoke. Catastrophizing is a lot more intense and negative, meanwhile, mental filters can be harder to spot because they feel more real and are less subtle. Instead of blowing things out of proportion, you are just choosing to look at all the negatives and discount the negatives. Catastrophizing can feel like ‘I can see one cloud, it will rain and my outdoor picnic is canceled’. While mental filter can be ‘It has rained 3 times this month when I had outdoor plans, the weather is always bad’’ while discounting the fact that you were able to do 4 outdoor activities during the same month because it did not rain on those days. So, what's the deal with this filter? Essentially, it works like this: * Magnifying flaws: Remember that presentation where you stumbled over a point? Mental filtering blows it up into a neon sign announcing "Public Humiliation!". Meanwhile, those insightful remarks and audience engagement? Meh, barely a flicker on the radar. * Discounting positives: Received a compliment on your writing? Mental filtering whispers, "Just being nice." Did you fail that exam? "Must have been an easy one." Any positive feedback gets dismissed as irrelevant or accidental. * Selective memory: Think about it – every awkward moment, every rejection, every critical comment replaying on repeat in your mind? Yeah, that's mental filtering There are many ways to break free but we will focus on the high-impact ones. * Reflect on the positives, and try to note down all the opposing (positive evidence) to the situation you are applying the mental filter to. * Gratitude journal: Every day, jot down three things you're grateful for – a funny incident, a kind gesture, a personal triumph. It trains your brain to actively seek out the good stuff, like a positivity magnet. This is an important way to long term reframe this distortion and avoid many similar ones. Think of a time you looked at a situation with the mental filter glasses on and how did that work out? What would you do differently today? What we want to do through reflecting on these distortions is to make life easier for us. Life is hard, I don’t need to tell you that, you already know it. But does it make sense to worsen our situation by indulging in negative thoughts? So let's reflect on all these distortions and save ourselves from additional misery. We have a lot more control over the quality of our thoughts than we give ourselves credit for. This is a wrap on the cognitive distortion series. Thank you to everyone who participated, I am very proud of all of you who challenged your negative thoughts, its really hard to reason with our brains and I see the effort you have put in. Remember to submit the series eval form [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdZ-Svf0igRTYst5y-r8m21scUltfV5-cfWxLyzM-tPwvLTVw/viewform]

Distortion 7. Comparison

by Hope

6 hours ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you have been well. Another week, another post on cognitive distortion. I hope you have gotten the chance to read the previous posts. If not, you can do so here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] I was thinking of what distortion to tackle next and then I came across one that I believe most human beings can benefit from. It is ‘Comparison’. So it should be noted that not all comparison is bad, nor can we classify them every time we compare something as bad. It is at some level required for us to make sense of things. For example, we compare the prices of different products before making a selection, we weigh out the pros and cons of selecting a certain school for a specific degree, all that is perfectly fine. It is even okay to compare our life situations with someone else to feel inspired! Your friend who failed half the classes last year is scoring As this year, how inspiring! Nothing wrong with feeling more motivated to do better on your grades. However, where it becomes an issue is when we fixate on other’s accomplishments and don’t give ourselves enough credit. So if you feel bad because your friend is improving more in grades than you are then its an issue. Or we pick out the setbacks of someone to feel better about our lack of effort. In both cases, comparing our situation with someone else when we don’t have all the facts or we have vastly different circumstances. Examples of ways in which comparison is not helpful with a potential reality in the brackets to help you reflect on what we miss when we make these comparisons. * My friend is so much happier than me. She can buy anything she likes. (Her parents are rich but the family never spends any real time together. She wishes she could have a family like yours) * Stacey looks so much better than me. She just naturally likes healthy foods. I wish I was like that (Stacey struggles with an eating disorder and is not comfortable making that public) * My neighbor bought a brand-new car, mine breaks down every other week. This just sucks (The neighbor is a retired 60-year-old person, and you are 30, and it is natural to not be able to afford the same) Comparison as a cognitive distortion is a tad bit tricky. It's a problem when it becomes recurrent and it starts to bother you. If you are consistently finding yourself living your life just trying to catch up to everyone else without real consideration for what you truly want, then you need to address it. Some reasons why we compare: * We want to fit in. We think we won’t be accepted if we won’t look a certain way, have certain things. This could be true for certain groups of people. But that just means they are not a good fit for you. If you need to maintain a lifestyle beyond your means to fit in with a group of people, they are not your people! * We feel insecure, we lack self-esteem so we look around ourselves hoping to feel better if we can have a better house or more popular friends then perhaps we are worthy? In reality, no materialistic thing or a social group can help you feel more secure/increase your self-esteem. That's a job for yourself. * Society insists we follow certain standards. Perhaps your mom comments on your weight which makes you want to look a certain way. Maybe your rich friends are more respected than you are and you crave that respect but society is not a reliable friend. The standards can change and the same things it pushed for can again become undesirable. So well what do we do about our need to have things simply because someone has them or be like someone else because they seem happier? We can work on our self esteem and sense of worth. Here are a few ways we can work on it: * Starting and ending your day on a grateful note. Start your day thinking of what you have, not what you don’t and end it on the same note. * Consistently incorporate some way you can feel fulfilled or useful. Volunteering is typically a good way to go about it. You can volunteer at your local animal shelter, some local charity or even 7 Cups! But you need to do something you truly care for. * Make an attempt to reflect on what you are missing when you are idolizing a certain someone or something. Is it really something you want or does that help you feel a certain way you desire to feel? Do you want that better car because its reliable or because you like the way people treat your neighbor when he drives it. * Realize that if you did not have what you have now, there is a good chance you would be jealous of yourself. So for this post we are gonna practice reframing a bit differently. Here is how we will tackle our need to compare. I encourage you to do this for a week! 1. Start your day by recalling 3 things you are grateful for. End the day with the same. This can be the same things every day or different, does not matter. Could be so small as a good cup of coffee or as big as a roof over your head. 2. Every day do something for someone else. Even a smile counts. Listening to a member on 7 cups for a few minutes in a group room counts. Checking in on your stressed-out friend with genuine interest counts. 3. When you find yourself longing for something someone else: * Pause, and ask yourself if it has true value in your life? Do you really need the Gucci perfume your friend bought that you never thought of before this moment? * If not then what are you really desiring? 4. Take a piece of paper, write down every good thing about yourself and truly take a moment to reflect on how many people would love to have these qualities, skills and even possessions. Then reflect on what it would be like if you woke up one day and did not have some of it? Perhaps you go from being great at writing to not know how to write or maybe you lose your ability to play your favorite sport. This negative visualization can bring into perspective the many things you take for granted. Further Resources: Zero Sum thinking [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HsHangout_1970/CommunityLessonsRecognitionandZeroSumThinking_224428/]

Learning about Cognitive Distortions: Distortion No.1: Catastrophizing

by Hope

6 hours ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Last week I announced the cognitive distortion series. You can read about it here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] Today we will be looking at the first cognitive distortion of the series, ‘catastrophizing’. Catastrophizing is when a person focuses on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not. Some common examples: * I am not feeling better after this treatment. I will never get better. * I will for sure fail this test because I forgot to study chapter X. * I could not keep up with my exercise regime, I will never become physically fit. * I have not been able to keep in touch with my friend. I bet he is no longer my friend * I forgot to put the right spacing in my essay. That's it, there goes my A in this course. Other names for the distortion are magnifying, and negative fortune telling. We get what catastrophizing is now and it's likely we all do it, some more than others. But how do we tackle this, how do we stop assuming the worst possible outcome? We can do this by engaging in the following: (Taken from Glen’s post on How to Worry Less and Not Panic [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/HowtoWorryLessandNotPanic_300790/]) * What are the odds: On a scale of 1-100%, how likely is this to happen? “Okay, if I had $1000 in my pocket now, would I bet that $1000 that this would happen?” If the answer is no, then it is likely that I am worrying too much about it. * Your Personal Hit Rate: Think about how often you are right when you think of the worst-case scenarios. Don’t be selective and remember the times you were right, try to think of all the times. Chances are it's less than 2%. Then does it make sense to consider something as true when your past predicting success rate is just 2%? To truly practice reframing your thoughts when it comes to this cognitive distortion. Let's experiment for a week together! * Start a doc/take out a notebook. * Write down your personal hit rate on top of the doc/page so you can remember your level of accuracy as you look at your daunting problems. * Every time you are thinking of the worst outcome, write down what is on your mind. * Then write down another opposing (positive thought) that you believe to be true. This can be hard but if you think enough, you will find it! It helps to look into facts to support your case Due to the nature of these exercises, it is advisable that any interested listeners use their member accounts so they can freely share their experiences. What we are attempting to do is to nudge our minds away from jumping to the worst possible conclusions and present some realistic alternatives that cause us less anguish. 📢Points of Action: (Actual tasks you will need to complete if you wish to avail the series certificate, only available for a limited time) * Find out your personal hit rate, don’t just assume, look into your past and get an accurate percentage. * Counter your catastrophic thoughts with counter-positive thoughts based on logic/facts/experience. * After practicing this with at least one thought. Tell us about your experience with this exercise. 📝To help us get started. Let's all share about a time when we truly believed the worst possible outcome or a very bad outcome was likely but it did not happen. (This is not the task, it is for general discussion, a place for you to start off if you feel stuck) Recommended Resources: * Forum Post: How to Worry Less and Not Pani [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/GlensNookCommunity_547/HowtoWorryLessandNotPanic_300790/]c * Book: How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (Chapter 1) (the book is long, the most relevant chapter to this post is Chapter 1). [https://youtu.be/fKzlc_N2yxw?si=WM-SUIqrVQLg1Is3&t=627] Post edited on Nov 21, 2024 to clarify required tasks.

November 2024 Forum Spotlight

by tommy

14 hours ago

...See more November 2024 Forum Spotlight Really sorry for the delay, everyone! It is finally that time again where we join together to celebrate the opportunities available to us across the forum. There are two core purposes of our forum spotlight: one to spotlight forum discussions more widely and two to showcase the amazing work of those community users who go above and beyond to help ensure everyone gets a reply to their thread. Here is an overview of our forum discussions for this month: * Veterans & Military Families Month [https://www.7cups.com/forum/trauma/CheckinsandPrompts_1095/TraumaSupportCommunityCheckInforNovember2024VeteransMilitaryFamiliesMonth_339599/] * Draw Up A Crisis Plan [https://www.7cups.com/forum/anxiety/General_2428/DrawUpaCrisisPlanwMe_339549/] * The Law of Attraction and the Power of Focus ft. Yellow Car Theory [https://www.7cups.com/forum/gratitude/InsightsPositiveExperiences_2238/ThinkOfAYellowCar_339468/] * Complex Regional Pain Syndrome [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/CRPSWhatisComplexRegionalPainSyndrome_339787/] * Epilepsy [https://www.7cups.com/forum/disabilities/ArticlesResourcesConditionSpecificInformation_458/WhatisEpilepsy_340034/] * Understanding Emotional Intimacy and Vulnerability in Relationships [https://www.7cups.com/forum/relationships/CopingToolsResourcesforRelationships_1161/UnderstandingEmotionalIntimacyandVulnerabilityinRelationships_340238/] * Join the Mindful Moments Story Swap [https://www.7cups.com/forum/mindfulness/MindfulnessPracticesSkills_490/JointheMindfulMomentsStorySwapShareYourPresentMomentExperiences_340359/] Looking to help us with forum engagement? Join our forum team by clicking here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/CommunitiesHelpWanted_2306/Soyouwanttobeaforumleader_334833/]. Here is our leaderboard for our monthly engagement challenge (with the number of needs reply posts answered): @Sunisshiningandsoareyou 176 @GentleHealingInitiative 75 @YourCaringConfidant 55 @audienta 7 @Phoenixthepoised 6 @Optimisticempath 1 You can find out more about this engagement initiative here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/EventsDiscussions_2666/Introducingournewandimprovedforumengagementchallenge_335791/] (including the link to participate). Are you wanting to get involved with this initiative for the month of December? Let us know about it by replying down below this forum spotlight! Please join me in congratulating our fantastic forum engagers down below! 🔗 Links * Do you want to join our taglist so you are notified of the next spotlight? Click here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/7cupsleadership/ProjectsEvents_2399/ForumEventsAutomatedTaglist_316255/]! * Do you have a thread which you've recently posted that you feel could be highlighted in our next monthly spotlight? Or perhaps you've noticed another thread which you think could be featured in our spotlight? Let us know about it here [https://forms.gle/wGWYW4izzS2Ukrrq6]!

Members - Welcome to 7 Cups! Introduce yourself Here!

by Hope

1 day ago

December 2024 Community Update!

by GlenM

1 day ago

...See more Dear Community I enjoyed celebrating Cupsgiving with all of you! A big thank you to all the people that cooked the meals, shared the pies/cookies, and took part in all of the programming. It was great to read the forum posts highlighting the impact of gratitude and generosity! The big news in our world is that we released our local support systems. This is version 1 of us working to bridge online care with offline care. Many people come to 7 Cups looking for help on the ground - they might need access to a food pantry, a shelter, a therapist, a treatment center, or a faith organization. We often make referrals to these places, but we can now do it in a more deliberate manner. Also, you’ll notice if you click here: 7cups.com/local [http://7cups.com/local], you’ll see that we have the beginnings of a parallel mental health system for each country (and many states in the US). We are highlighting the number of people we’ve helped, the number of listeners, and the top 50 mental health issues for each state or country. We hope that these pages become hubs for local support resources so that people can get better help. Feedback and ideas on how we could make this better are very welcome! Last, we are also working on a simple but powerful intervention we are calling the transformation wheel. I’ve asked the team and ambassadors to help me strengthen it before I share it more broadly. Look for more on this in the next week or two. With gratitude, GlenM H Happy Cupsgiving! I hope you’ve been enjoying all the gratitude events our wonderful community has put on. There’s plenty more to look forward to with Cupsmas so keep your eyes out for announcements, and I am excited to be out there celebrating with you! Speaking of gratitude, our caring community is at work each day supporting and uplifting each other through various acts of compassion. Listeners, leaders, and members alike - it could be anyone making a difference through little acts of kindness. I rolled out a recognition activity to catch these moments and tag them! This is community-wide and runs through the end of the year so bookmark/subscribe to this post (Caught You Kind) [https://www.7cups.com/forum/projectsandevents/CommunityActivitiesEvents_1908/JoinOurCaughtYouKindRecognitionCampaign_340430/] and let someone know you see them! The Welcome Committee has been a smashing success! Since its launch in July, our team has welcomed over 19,000+ new members! That's a staggering number, representing 19,000+ unique personal messages. But more importantly, these outreaches have created a vital bridge between newcomers and the 7 Cups community. By reaching out personally, Welcome Committee members are helping our new members feel seen, supported, and equipped to navigate the platform. This warm welcome makes acclimating to 7 Cups a smoother experience, encouraging them to participate and benefit from all the amazing resources and connections available. We need more folks to ramp up our efforts and cover more ground. If you're a Verified Listener, please consider joining us: apply here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/welcome/TheWelcomeCommitteeTeam_2670/CallingAllVerifiedListenersHelpWantedonthe7CupsWelcomeCommittee_332406/] Are you a new member who has been greeted by the WC? Drop a reply after reading this post to let me know! And do check out our top greeters of the month here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/welcome/TheWelcomeCommitteeTeam_2670/CongratulationstoourNovemberWelcomeCommitteeTeamMemberMilestones_340504/]! Hope One of the most exciting news from November is the launch of the 7 Cups scholarship! The 7 Cups Scholarship reflects our commitment to empowering future mental health leaders by supporting students and future students in pursuing a mental health-related program. Open to both people in and outside the USA. Join us in shaping a brighter future for mental health care! More info can be found here [https://www.7cups.com/academy/] (info comes right after university logos listed on the page) It has been an eventful month on the teen side! Quests of Kindness continued with Weeks 2, 3, and 4 going live. Week 2 focused on kindness towards others, Week 3 on cultivating optimism, and Week 4 on building resilience. Teens and adult-teen listeners can still participate and catch up on tasks, the deadline to complete the challenge is December 15, 2024. We also launched Mission Revive TL, aimed at making the teen listener room a more engaging and supportive space. Interested in contributing? You can join the efforts here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/teens/TeenZoneCommunityTeam_590/MissionRevivingTLisBackbutonlyforalimitedTime_340860] Additionally, The Leadership Development Program (LDP) has adjusted its entry requirements, members can now join after just two weeks on 7 Cups (previously one month) The workshop series is getting quite some interest from our community users. In light of the efforts of participants and received interest, the deadline to complete all participation is extended from November 30, 2024, to December 8, 2024. You can check out all the workshops being offered here. [https://www.7cups.com/forum/community/General_2530/Allforumworkshopseriesnowavailableforalimitedtime_338545/?p=2] One of the most exciting happenings of November has been the updated 7 Cups Academy page! Check it out here [https://www.7cups.com/academy/] Obs Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I am grateful for everyone and their compassionate presence and empowering efforts in the group support chat. You make a huge difference in someone’s day to make it comforting and caring. Let’s continue to spread positivity and compassion everywhere. This month we celebrated Cupsgiving and were thankful to all who participated in the group discussions [https://www.7cups.com/forum/groupmod/General_2446/JoinusfortheCupsgivingCelebrationintheGroupSupportChats_339964/], fun activities [https://www.7cups.com/forum/groupmod/GroupSupportCommunityEvents_2295/WouldyouratherpollThanksgivingedition_340956/], and gratitude shares [https://www.7cups.com/forum/groupmod/GroupSupportCommunityEvents_2295/Cupsgiving2024Thankyouforsharing_341128/]. This time of the year is magical as everyone comes together to reflect and share what they are grateful for. If you haven’t shared yours yet, please share here [https://www.7cups.com/forum/groupmod/GroupSupportCommunityEvents_2295/Cupsgiving2024Thankyouforsharing_341128/]! Also, 100+ members took the Compassion quiz and earned the shiny badge, “Compassion Hero”. This quiz is a good way to evaluate how compassionate you are. Everyone who has taken the quiz so far loved it and as per their feedback and suggestions, we will be releasing the second compassion quiz by the end of December 2024. We are close to 300 compassionate heroes so far, We are looking forward to getting 500+ compassionate heroes by the end of the year. If you are a member and you haven’t attempted the quiz yet, give it a try here [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScMEXP6lopKu4ZJAtmctmwk0vq9Fp7T892gWJteqmQoIJa_Dg/viewform]! And, we are working on reviving the Birthday Team to celebrate the birthday of the members and listeners with the community. If anyone is interested in joining the team, please feel free to send me a message at 7cups.com/@ASilentObserver [http://7cups.com/@ASilentObserver] We will be sharing more info and updates soon with you. SoulfullyAButterfly This month, we have published a press release [https://www.prunderground.com/7-cups-wraps-up-month-long-thanksgiving-celebration-cupsgiving-highlighting-gratitude-and-mental-health-support/00345523/] marking the annual Cupsgiving events to share the spirit of community and support during Thanksgiving and beyond. Another update is that we have changed our Youtube handle to @7CupsCommunity to represent our community and continue to spread word about it. As the end of the year approaches, we have some exciting updates and events being planned - from the online therapy community celebrating 25 Days of Gratitude, Self-Care and Personal Growth [https://www.7cups.com/forum/therapy/General_2432/Day125DaysofGratitudeSelfCareandPersonalGrowthfor2024_341520/] as well as some closed group huddles - stay tuned for great content and ways to end the year on an insightful note. Evelyne Care Team: We are still working on onboarding a few new applicants. We are also onboarding sleepysalem as a Project Agent! We are going to send out the long refresher very shortly for everyone to complete. We hit a new high of requests taken in 3 months! Safety Team: We added Kieran as a PA and he has already been making excellent progress as a leader! He's hosted a discussion (that was very well received) and has made a forum post promoting the team 🌟 AE: This month we've welcomed three new team members to AE. We're happy to have @DragonspanAnge, @EventHorizon, and @AGentleGlow on the team and we're very excited to watch them grow and evolve throughout their time here. CheeryMango Upcoming Events: * Cupsmas: December 1st-25th Community Launch: In the coming weeks, we will be launching the Men's Issues community. This initiative aims to create a supportive space for discussing topics relevant to men’s experiences and challenges. We encourage everyone to participate and share their insights. A friendly reminder for all forum supporters, community mentors and community mentor leaders are asked to fill out the Subcommunity Leadership Check-In Form [https://docs.google.com/forms/u/2/d/1IiVSq3OubFdfQ1nkI8ZHCy_QXABHXyyz55JKRRAEu50/viewform?usp=mail_response_notification&edit_requested=true] for the month of November so we can keep updated on what’s going on in your team and roles and see how we can offer our assistance. Lastly, if you notice or experience any difficulties while using the forums, please help us to track and report any bugs in this thread. A gentle reminder when reporting bugs or issues, please give as much detail like time and location as to where it was experienced and include screenshots or any error codes so we can properly investigate it. Thank you for your continued support and here’s to what the new month brings.

Listeners - Welcome to 7 Cups! Introduce yourself Here!

by Hope

2 days ago

The River

by GlenM

2 days ago

...See more We are going down the river of life in our kayak. At the start, it may feel unnatural or a little clumsy. Maybe we lose our paddle or get stuck on rocks, but with more experience we gradually learn to read the water. With a little more experience we can begin to feel the current pulling us. Sometimes we might not want to follow the current. Instead, we might have our eye on a beautiful spot across the water on the side of a river bank. Many of us will work really hard to cross the river to get to that spot. It will require a lot of extra paddling because we are going against the current. One sad, but instructive experience happens when you finally make it to that hoped for spot and realize it is not as good as you had imagined. You were sure it was going to be beautiful, but somehow it fell short of that beauty. This is frustrating because it took so much energy to get there. Some of us are stubborn, slow to learn, or both, and we have to make this same mistake many, many, many times. Eventually, however, we too learn how to read the water and follow the current. Sometimes the current leads us right past the spots we wanted to go and then surprises us around the bend with a far better spot. These are great situations. Oddly, even though we shouldn't, we often give ourselves credit for finding the new spot, when most of the credit should go to the current. Still, these are great times and should be deeply enjoyed because they do not happen all the time. Other times the current can lead us down more treacherous waters with rocks, eddies, and sticks that can be tough to navigate. Sometimes we lose a paddle, flip the kayak and get wet. In particularly tough times, we may even get injured. We don’t usually take “credit” for our role in these situations and instead happily blame the current. Why do these more challenging times happen? I believe they happen so that we can learn. Nobody wants to feel the anxiety, difficulties, and sometimes pain that happens during these times, but these are indeed the times that teach us the most skill. We don’t learn to become master kayakers when the river is smooth. We learn how to be master kayakers on the rapids. Adversity challenges us to overcome. So, what is the right approach? The approach is one that goes against our natural impulses. It can sometimes feel like it goes against everything that is within us, especially when it is painful and not what we had hoped for. The stoics were master kayakers and they have a statement, “the problem is the path.” They encourage us to steer into the challenges and to trust the current. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy [https://www.7cups.com/act-therapy-techniques/] (ACT) encourages us to see the challenge as an opportunity to learn to solve a problem that we’ve been ignoring. These are wise words. Abraham Maslow, another master kayaker, tells us to go further. He instructs us to see the challenges as a gift, to embrace them like we would a friend, to listen deeply and carefully to what they are telling us, to listen to their whispers. He encourages us to see the challenges as ends in and of themselves; and warns us not to look past them as a means to an end. He wants us to see and appreciate them for what they are – independent, difficult, and beautiful experiences. The river of life brings us smooth, deep, and troubled waters. Thankfully we do not paddle alone. We find other kayakers on the water that also teach us lessons. Most of the lessons come down to following the current rather than insisting on our own plans. This key lesson is a lifetime lesson. Reflection question: We have all gone through challenging times, or rough rapids, and overcome them in the past. What would you tell a friend going through difficult waters now? I’m thankful that I have found all of you on the river. Thank you for paddling alongside me 🙏✨❤️.

Take 5 to Thrive (and get the Gratitude badge)!

by Heather225

2 days ago

Review 7 Cups app and earn the iGrow badge!

by Heather

3 days ago

...See more Hi everyone, When people look for help on the Web, they normally search for things like "I need someone to talk to" or "depression chat" in Google. Google then points them to 7 cups and we are able to help them. The Apple app store or Google Play store, unfortunately, does not do the same. It has a search box, but it is harder for people to find us there. One way we can help them find us and get help on 7 Cups is by providing a steady stream of reviews in the Google play store and Apple app store. In short, helping people through the app store is considerably harder than helping people on Google. How can we make it easier for people to find us? The more reviews we add each week, the easier it is for people to find us. Towards that end, we've created a new badge for anyone that provides a review in the Google play store or Apple app store. It is called iGrow. How do you get the badge? Simply leave us a review on either Google play or App store (depending upon whether you have an android or apple device) and then post here in this thread and we'll award the badge to you. Here are links to the app store: U.S.: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/7-cups-tea-free-emotional/id921814681 UK: https://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/7-cups-tea-free-emotional/id921814681 And for people in other locations, you can find your country abbreviation here: http://www.apple.com/choose-your-country/ [/www.apple.com/choose-your-country/] Here is the link to google play store: All: https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.sevencupsoftea.app Thank you! ﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎ Follow 7 Cups on social media Instagram - @7Cups [https://www.instagram.com/7cups/] | Twitter - @7Cups [https://twitter.com/7cups] & @7CupsTeen [https://twitter.com/7CupsTeen] | Facebook - 7CupsOfTea [https://www.facebook.com/7CupsOfTea/] | Youtube - 7 Cups of Tea [https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYsco2bYgzQzUsLnaO899Qg] ﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎﹎ Updated on May 29, 2020 by Hope

Distortion No 9. Should statements

by Hope

3 days ago

...See more Hi everyone! I hope you are doing well. Today we will be talking about ‘Should’ statements in our cognitive distortions series. As the name suggests, it revolves around ‘should’ beliefs, its imposing rigid/fixed rules on self, others, the world. The world should be this way, I should be this, others should be X etc. You can usually identify these thoughts as they often carry the words ‘should, ought to and must’ The 4 types of should statements as mentioned here. [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfChtZ6VwA_T5ug1RQT4T7RzPdBCxgMpV4cQWhPkYLgN33T-Q/viewform] * Self-directed ‘shoulds’: self-imposed standards that, lead to anxiety, guilt, and shame. * Other-directed ‘shoulds’: expectations of others which, lead to anger and conflict. * World-directed ‘shoulds’: expectations around how the world should work, which can lead to frustration and entitlement. * Hidden ‘shoulds’: implicit standards revealed in our reactions (e.g., getting frustrated with oneself after making a mistake). Let's look at what this can look like for a person: * I must change my appearance to look good (This can include losing/gaining weight or getting cosmetic procedures done) * He should have spent more time with me. (Often we think of these shoulds after a relationship falls through) * I should be happier in life * This lecture should be more research-based As always, it's only an issue if it's starting to impact the quality of your life. Sometimes we have to think hard even to notice that it is. In moderation, should statements are not always bad, It is good to think about how we can improve but it becomes an issue when we use these shoulds as a way to avoid responsibility, you say you failed a class because the class should have been easier but does that change your grade? Or you may be waiting to achieve a very unique physique and discounting all that you currently are. For this distortion, we will be doing the following! Notice when a should statement pops up, likely, reading this post has already brought to your attention your more prominent should thoughts. Ask yourself the following questions: * If you took out the ‘should/must/ought to’ how will you see this situation? * Where did this should statement start? (Where did this belief originate, this helps us figure out if these are even our own) Once you have explored the statement and have a better understanding of it. The second step is to soften the words a bit. You can want things without imposing such fixed/rigid beliefs. Lastly, it helps to reflect on this from a more compassionate outsider perspective by assuming this is your friend who is dealing with this. * Change the terms of should/must/ to lighter terms like ‘prefer/wish’ * What would you say to a friend who is imposing such fixed/rigid rules/behaviors on themself? Let's see what it can look like when you do this exercise: Please take a moment to complete the exercise and share your thoughts with us! ------------------------- View the full list of distortions covered here! [https://www.7cups.com/forum/siteupdates/HopesCorner_2162/Learningaboutcognitivedistortions_313974/] Join the tag list to be tagged on these posts here! [https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfChtZ6VwA_T5ug1RQT4T7RzPdBCxgMpV4cQWhPkYLgN33T-Q/viewform]

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