Distortion 10. Mental Filtering
Hi everyone! How's everyone feeling this week?
Thank you for following our cognitive distortion series. It is time to cover the final cognitive distortion of this series called ‘Mental Filtering’. Think of it as a spotlight, but one that illuminates only the negative aspects of your experiences, leaving the positives shrouded in darkness. As with many distortions, you may find it overlapping it with covered distortions but also have a unique element of its own which is why it is covered in a separate post. The difference between mental filter and catastrophizing is, the mental filter is like wearing clouded glasses that don’t allow you to see bright colors, meanwhile catastrophizing is like hearing a fire alarm go off every time you see a candle flicker or a pan show a hint of smoke.
Catastrophizing is a lot more intense and negative, meanwhile, mental filters can be harder to spot because they feel more real and are less subtle. Instead of blowing things out of proportion, you are just choosing to look at all the negatives and discount the negatives. Catastrophizing can feel like ‘I can see one cloud, it will rain and my outdoor picnic is canceled’. While mental filter can be ‘It has rained 3 times this month when I had outdoor plans, the weather is always bad’’ while discounting the fact that you were able to do 4 outdoor activities during the same month because it did not rain on those days.
So, what's the deal with this filter?
Essentially, it works like this:
- Magnifying flaws: Remember that presentation where you stumbled over a point? Mental filtering blows it up into a neon sign announcing "Public Humiliation!". Meanwhile, those insightful remarks and audience engagement? Meh, barely a flicker on the radar.
- Discounting positives: Received a compliment on your writing? Mental filtering whispers, "Just being nice." Did you fail that exam? "Must have been an easy one." Any positive feedback gets dismissed as irrelevant or accidental.
- Selective memory: Think about it – every awkward moment, every rejection, every critical comment replaying on repeat in your mind? Yeah, that's mental filtering
There are many ways to break free but we will focus on the high-impact ones.
- Reflect on the positives, and try to note down all the opposing (positive evidence) to the situation you are applying the mental filter to.
- Gratitude journal: Every day, jot down three things you're grateful for – a funny incident, a kind gesture, a personal triumph. It trains your brain to actively seek out the good stuff, like a positivity magnet. This is an important way to long term reframe this distortion and avoid many similar ones.
Think of a time you looked at a situation with the mental filter glasses on and how did that work out? What would you do differently today?
What we want to do through reflecting on these distortions is to make life easier for us. Life is hard, I don’t need to tell you that, you already know it. But does it make sense to worsen our situation by indulging in negative thoughts? So let's reflect on all these distortions and save ourselves from additional misery. We have a lot more control over the quality of our thoughts than we give ourselves credit for.
This is a wrap on the cognitive distortion series. Thank you to everyone who participated, I am very proud of all of you who challenged your negative thoughts, its really hard to reason with our brains and I see the effort you have put in. Remember to submit the series eval form
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@Hope Thank you so much for this post, Hope.
I think the problem with mental filters is that they feel so real, so they're really hard to spot, honestly. I never even realised how much mental filtering i do every day before i actually thought about it.
I might have misunderstood this, but I'm guessing one of the differences between catastrophizing and mental filtering is the catastrophizing is more about the future but mental filtering is more about the past. I might be wrong, I'm just guessing.
"Received a compliment on your writing? Mental filtering whispers, "Just being nice." Any positive feedback gets dismissed as irrelevant or accidental." awwww i feel that so much. Many nice people here have told me that i keep dismissing any positive feedback.
A time when i looked at a situation with the mental filter glasses on? I do it all the time! Well, maybe not all the time, but most of the time, haha! i dismiss compliments more often than not, after any exam, i dwell more on where i lost marks than my total score, i think more about where i stumbled in a reading or speaking activity, and so on. And I haven't really been able to work everything out so far. I'll try, I'll try reminding myself about the positives, but it's not easy.
Haha, yes, life is hard. Thank you so much for this series, i do believe you've saved many of us some additional misery. "We have a lot more control over the quality of our thoughts than we give ourselves credit for." I think you're right, Hope.
It's hard to tell which one distortion post was eye-opening, actually most of them have been for me. And most of them have been relevant in my life, and have been helpful too. But this one (mental filtering) has certainly been the most relatable one.
I've really liked this series and have learnt a lot of things from it, if you ever come up with another such series, please lemme know. :)
@exuberantBlackberry9105
I absolutely agree! They feel real and unless you try really hard, you will very likely miss them.
I think the compliment dismissing can also be cultural. I know that in brown cultures we have seen elders/people we admire or care about dismiss compliments or brush them off in the name of humility/humbleness so it can be harder to accept them. But you can remain humble and still accept a compliment.
Thank you for following the series. You can always come back to these posts whenever you feel like you are leaning towards a specific distortion.
@Hope I know! I'm growing up seening many people brush off compliments. I dont really think accepting compliments makes someone less humble. But yeah, for me, it could just be that i see people brushing off compliments and i too just do it without thinking. But i think for me it's more like me thinking "they dont know me well enough to say that about me" or "i'm not as nice as they think i am". While i dont necessarily dislike hearing compliments, what goes on in my head is that I'm a bad person, so a compliment can't be right, unless it's coming from someone who normally always criticises me (like my parents).
@Hope
My critical mental filter helped me find two unintended statements in your post that you'll probably want to fix, because they invert the meaning:
they feel more real and are less subtle. Instead of blowing things out of proportion, you are just choosing to look at all the negatives and discount the negatives positives.
Aside from that, thanks for the series!
@cloudySummer Haha, strikethrough apparently does not work.
The striked words would have been 'less' and the second 'negatives'.
@Hope , please see the second post if you find it difficult to understand what I meant...
@Hope Thank you for this <3
@HopeI'm going through some difficult times at the moment. This is exactly what I needed to read to help me frame my viewpoint on things in a more realistic way.
The most recent mental filtering incident would have to be what my colleagues have said to me when I returned to work 5 business days after losing my Grandma.. What they have said angered me, felt disrespected, and made me feel guilty for canceling shifts I said I'd work.. As this happened in the beginning of August, I have repeatedly thought about the situation and my blood boils every time I think about it.. I'm having trouble thinking about the positivity that's hidden behind what had been said.. as with the complexity of emotions for grief, it's difficult to see that situation in a different perspective..
I am working on the anger with my counsellor at the moment.. hopefully I will learn more tools there.. Last week, during my Support Group.. someone mentioned that when we forgive, we're not forgiving the person who said the hurtful things, but rather forgiving ourselves for taking it personally and allowing it to ruin our own moods.. This is a point where I'll need to ponder more on.. At the moment, my brain is not functioning as well and I cannot seem to process it properly.. Maybe I'll mention this point to my counsellor tomorrow.. see what she thinks, if there's any truth in that..
@Hope
@Hope
I guess I have had these mental filters and have sometimes written off compliments as just being nice or even thinking that they might not know me properly guess now I know this isn't own interpretation and complimeyntscan be accepted as they are
@Hope
Think of a time you looked at a situation with the mental filter glasses on and how did that work out? What would you do differently today?
@daydreammemories
It’s important to remember that how others treat us often says more about them than it does about us. Have you tried the gratitude journal or reflected on a past mental filter situation yet?
@Hope
Yes! I tried journaling💙
@Hope
Think of a time you looked at a situation with the mental filter glasses on and how did that work out? What would you do differently today?
I was also anxious when giving a presentation. After I completed my prsentaion I ended up feeling bad. But now I realize it was all inside my head( my thoughts were negatively impacting me). The fear of judgement was impacting me.
What if people find out the wrong things in my presentation?
Anxiety during these kinds of events are normal. But it should not be in a level that it affects your presentation.
I would talk to myself positively that I can do this. It's going to be alright. It's not the end of the world. Everyone makes mistakes and it's okay.
@Sparkle8888
It’s great that you’re recognizing how your thoughts impacted your experience. Reframing those anxious thoughts with positive self-talk is such a powerful approach. Have you tried the gratitude journal or reflected on a past mental filter situation yet? It could help further shift your perspective.
@Hope
Yes, I have tried gratitude journaling, and it really helps me to see the good and positive side of myself. It gives me peace and calmness.
Reflection of Past Mental Filter: I remember in my teenage years, I used to engage in this type of thinking. Where I see only the positive side in others but not the positive side in me. But I see the negative side in me.
I now realize the impact it had on my mental health. Self-care is very important.
Thank you so much for posting. I found it helpful.😄
@Hope
Thanks for guiding us through this series! It’s been a valuable journey and I’m grateful for the tools we’ve learned to challenge those cognitive distortions. Here’s to cultivating a more balanced perspective!