Just want some advice

So, for context I have been a porn addict since I was about twelve years old, and it ruined me. It makes a lot of time that I haven't watched porn, but only now after so many years I'm feeling guilty about what I saw. I saw the most disgusting things a person could think of, and I mean, utterly disgusting, things that only sick people would enjoy. At the time I liked these things, and I'm not talking about BDSM, I'm talking about criminal things, I feel so disgusted with myself because why would someone seek out these things out of pure will and still enjoy them. I didn't understand the consequences of what I saw, but now that I'm an adult, I understand, and I obviously don't and wouldn't do what I did, and they are things so absurd that nowadays I wouldn't even think about doing them, that they make me question who I am. Am I a zoophile? A pedophile? A sexual deviant? I have OCD, and when I remember these things I have groinal responses and it feels like ***. I feel so bad... Do I deserve happiness? I do not want to be a bad person.