Please advice!!
I remembered that when I was in the beginning of puberty, I feel into porn addiction and I remember that I masturbated thinking about my mother, and I didn't see any consequences, especially because I wasn't attracted to my mother, but now, years later I feel diagusting. Why did I do that???!?!?! I feel terrible why would someone do that, what was wrong with me??
I feel like a sexual deviant cus why would I do that?!? I have done so many weird things in puberty that I am starting to deeply question myself... I mean, I saw the most disgusting types of porn and did things in places that I should not had done and with other people in the room. I feel beyond repair
Hi. I wanted to pop in and let you know that when we are going through the stages of puberty, sometimes we do or experience strange things during the confusing time. Most pre-teens experience confusion as well as watch pornography. There are also times that an individual may pop into mind (your mother, for example) when we least expect it. This is uncontrolled, and is not something that can be anticipated. There are times when we do things we are ashamed of, and we may also experience feelings of shame, guilt, and disgust. It is important to remember that puberty is a confusing stage of life, and to not be so hard on yourself.
I think It is all because I am using my "adult" brain to think about things I did when I barely even know what consequences where.
But my ocd is always saying "You a pedophile because you saw that and liked... You are a bad person..." I feel sick to my stomach because I can't undo what I did, but the fact that I did it haunts me and makes me feel the worst. I just wanted to be normal, I don't want to hurt children or anyone, but looking back, I fear I might want to hurt them... I am scared of myself honestly.
As long as no one was harmed, it shouldn't be a big deal. Many people do weird things in their fantasies. Just leave it in the past and move on.
