What am I doing
I think too much, but here goes. Pardon the grammar gaps.
I joined this site because have no one who understands and I cannot sit with my thoughts alone. Looking around here see a lot of voices, needing reassurance guidance venting, you name it. All good reasons. I can’t help but wonder how my voice will be heard here. How it will help to type into the space, my personal details issues. Sure I hope to hear feedback opinions, … would love ultimately find a close friend that I totally click but I know that’s not likely.
Ive done online therapy, group support, one on one… its a lot of typing and SO time consuming. Do I start with my restlessness from loneliness and isolation? Or the issues that got me here because they surely lurk unresolved. I feel I’m preaching to the choir to say that I have found not a single person who can ease my pain, after years. Ive followed guidance advice gratitude reframing god i could list dozens of homework. My reward? Ive actually broken family connection by trying to get support from them because i have no one else. What an utter shitshow.
I feel my mind is shutting down from the overwhelm and futility while things continue as they have been for years.
Hopeless and helpless they call it. How is a human supposed to overcome, survive even, let alone thrive.
Thanks for reading this far.
@SparklySeas49
I think you know many of us can relate.
Maybe we post expecting someone to have an answer or yet another suggestion of try this... another reason i believe therapy has not worked for me. i do it as explaining some things makes it clearer to me.
Many mean well hoping some item they have done works for you too ... I find my relief my understanding my frustrations becoming clearer when I write it out. .
I also find solace in reading of other's struggles as some have it much worse and some well i think they do not see how trivial it sounds. it is all a work in progress.
