Heartbreak (both still in love)
Hi 👋👋 As
cliché as it is : I'm 2 weeks out of a romantic break-up. This was my
most cherished relationship. We didn't separate for lack of feelings, or
common vision. It wrecked both of us, and we agreed we might get back together.
But it's the first time I feel like I'm "loosing my mind"
that much. things feel numb. surreal. lost.
What helped YOU during your breakups? what activities? thoughts? routines? much appreciated !
@disciplinedCherry253
I am sorry, but I cannot understand one thing: you love each other, you share the same vision, you are both suffering from the breakup and hoping about being together again... So why the breakup?
I meant: what influenced your decision about breakup?
@jacek73 Sure, I can develop (:
His lifestyle choices and my lifestyle choices are very different.
Job, schedule, choice of town and region.
I know it could sound superficial. I love the person that he is. But I cannot compromise those choices forever.
I have compromised my needs to accommodate his lifestyle for 4 years. But reached my limit. he is interested in my lifestyle preferences long-term, but not taking action to start changes now.
@jacek73 He also said that 'something' was missing for him in the relationship. despite all the good things.
He spent ages trying to identify/understand that 'something' (research, discussions with friends, therapy). but couldn't exactly. That, was driving him crazy inside, slowly.
(Also:
the last time we met up, two weeks ago, and spent a weekend together to figure things out : he said that 'something' wasn't there anymore. that it was just, great. that contrast relieved him and confused him at the same time)
@jacek73
We love the person that each other is.
think each other is so rare, so precious.
and are scared to never find that again.
But I'm (we?) exhausted of emotional rollercoasters.
the time, energy that disappears in those doubts /hesitations /back and forth.
I need clarity, clear choices, clear actions. taking a decision, and standing by that. be congruent.
@disciplinedCherry253
Thanks for explaining. Indeed, now it sounds like a losing game...
What helped me after breakups: Actually, becoming another person. I believe you were someone different before you met this man, and it is up to you if you prefer being "you from this relationship" or "general you/different you". Women sometimes change their haircut, image and clothing to make this difference more visible to themselves. Not only women, as a matter of fact 😉
Also, patiently struggling with some issues to the point of anger. This is not about starting to hate or dislike the person, but about putting an end to some situations and not letting some bad things to go on. Anger is a powerful fuel. It can make me introduce changes without turning around too much, and with no returns.
