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livbinny
30 3,084 M Hopeful Heart 7
PathStep 12 Compassion hearts753 Forum posts147 Forum upvotes370 Current upvotes370 Age GroupAdult Last activeDecember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 18, 2021
Bio

❤️‍🩹I have disabilities😓😢and pains🙏🏻❤️Health survivor😭🙏🏻it's hard. Be Kind💖🙏🏻💚😿😭illness and mental health problems 💚😿Praying to God🙏🏻💖may heal us all🤕

Recent forum posts
To one person… (pls ignore)
Friendship Support / by livbinny
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I only tag them if they can see n get back to me here🙏🏻 honestly I had no idea about that ban for 2 weeks, sorry for that, it’s unfair when u only wanted to stand up for me as well as I tried to clarify this to the team n mods so they told me they will be more aware of this n will improve but it’s not fair that u had to “pay” for it cuz it was nothing bad i just had to went twice cuz nobody was rly listening n mods were “away” u don’t deserve it neither did i so if anything talk to me here ok?
positivity needed
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 Sunday
...See more hey ppl came to collect some sparks of positivity, GIFs, whatever u have that u wanna share w me pls do🙏🏻❤️‍🩹🤧❤️ thanks!!
My usual lonely day (long version)
Anxiety Support / by livbinny
Last post
 December 1st
...See more Hey ppl, Today: feeling alone in nudging anxiety (constant force)…tired but tired like extremely tired that even if I’m “awake” I feel like half off half on…eating goes hard which makes me feel like I have to mentally prepare before every meal. Plus the isolation sometimes feel itself too much. Being alone w minimal interactions is making me feel sad n low plus I’m still recovering from self pity issues (due to multiple hurt from ppl) to be truly happy. Or at peace of becoming happy yk? So it’s true that I feel lonely. I also fight my intrusive thoughts n unpleasant sensations … it’s nothing new for me to be this unwell tho the forms of it change so it’s not always feeling in the same kind of unwell state but now, I can tell. Also I’m sad cuz being this alone is noticing harder to manage when ur this tired n ur fam don’t get these types of issues …. I come here or someplace else like this to talk to u guys… It’s a new “home” for me. To get my feelings out without being shamed or judged by why I feel this way, what’s the constant battle or struggle all about n how young or old I am. Important is that we all fight for another day n we all need more than just survive it. I truly hope we can recover n feel better so that the our world won’t be always filled with us being sad or hopeless. I can be numb one minute n next very tired. Ppl say u deserve to live not just to exist n be like get through this n this day but it feels so much every day just like this. Getting through the same motion while hoping for something to change. It would be good if we can hold onto some happy moment or feel that good feeling n creativity flowing through us without feelings sad afterwards cuz get this: I try to move, get walking or dancing a little or just thinking n imagining something or I go study… learning anything makes me normally feeling at ease, happy n accomplished. But these times it’s like after that hurt from ppl n how alone I happened to suddenly be…  I realized that nobody rly knew n nobody sees what I do even now. Protecting, keeping ur parts safe from fam n getting out of one sided friendship only now it starts to go on surface w how small I always felt, belittled, limited or backing down just to make peace n never confront anyone for anything cuz they weren’t bad ppl. But good they weren’t either. So while I do my things in my own time, n I’m trying to enjoy n derive something joyful from it… it’s true that keeping it all for yourself due to valid reasons in ur environment makes u feel very alone n more sad. Bcs it’s like u plan it alone for urself, u do things but then alsp u get unwell n it all just gets sad again cuz u just wanna feel good again or not so exhausted to do all those things plus my anxiety is also big factor that makes me so unwell that I can’t focus n feel like my brain is sleeping instead.  Also my major part is the company of any music, background sounds (but usually songs) on headphones n watching series. When I watch those episodes n I’m doing my stuff meanwhile or watching while I’m eating it makes me feel somewhat better n safe like someone out there, in this case characters are sharing scribbles of lives just like me when I see them doing the same stuff or feel some way familiar to me.  It’s the constant void u have to fill in n ur trying not to be always w ur thoughts or bodily sensations cuz too much focus doesn’t do good either so I go where I can watch n focus on something else that’s still beneficial to me. Which is good tho when ur real unwell, it’s much harder to focus n feel good while watching it but I’m never giving up. I think that’s the key in everything we want or need to do.  That’s why…
When fam knows ur future (figured out??!)
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 3 days ago
...See more Hey ppl… ​Whenever I come here I just think how we’re all trying every day, how tiring it all is n how much we must do to keep ourselves safe n at ease too like the happy moment in a day n not trying to fall into our own trap of problems we can’t influence. Today, I would like to tell u (and if u can relate, always lmk!) abt “how family thinks n keeps u figured out” Like whats even that?? Well, it happens when ur at home 24/7 or most of the time like me. N fam just starts their own presumptions n opinions on u. Like the fact of how alone you’ll end up here one day n when I asked it won’t be fair or who will help me, they just said, u gotta pay someone. Tried to have some real convo abt it just out of curiosity but it got confirmed again. No, they don’t even think that I’ll eventually move out n break free from their chains of limitations to go love w my own freedom n authenticity.  Or independence. They think I’ll be here living w them forever n whilst realistically it’s the likely outcome in future, I still keep general hope w me. Cuz, nobody is less of anything they have or have not. We all deserve to live the way we want someday. No amount of condition or issues can make us feel incapable or diminish our ability or stuff yk…? Like for dreams… we want to chase n live them.  Same w this.. they are always discouraging n many times said to my face that I won’t find anyone. They are more than convinced they know I’ll be in this home all my life n that’s to me. Nothing more, no traveling or experiences just their controlling nature cuz ur bird in a cage, don’t complain abt this.  I feel it horrible.  It’s not healthy nor normal am I right?? I would never tell anybody this. U never know plus u have right to choose for yourself, u matter the same! But no, for my fam, they just tell what once will be when I’ll be here alone n similar stuff… they don’t think of anything else … tho they once mentioned that “kind” person is found very hardly in life n nobody would wanted someone useless just made me feel the same. They don’t want it for me nor they believe it will ever happen. Good job at being such realistic, I’m too but at least don’t discourage us like that. It’s already more than enough w other stuff. So no, I wish to I would eventually move out n leave them…. I still have some time ppl tho or years if we say for how long they will work, but once they retire I will loose privacy like for my own time n that’s something I don’t wanna happen either. Years ago I was just doing my stuff, keeping my things safe, thriving in alone time but as the time is going by n what they are saying it starts to feel more serious to the future. If I wanna change it, I have to hope for the best, we all must. I’m not sure what hope it’s here anymore but somehow it can work or will work, no idea tho how but it’s no use to be discouraging like them, it only makes u feel powerless…
Eating struggles are real.
General Support / by livbinny
Last post
 November 28th
...See more Hey ppl anybody struggling w how painful it is to eat more n one messed up schedule or delayed meal n it all gets loose way too easy? Constantly going up n down w me but these days I find so hard to eat i already go late n then it takes me another hour n I have to push myself for it I only stopped caring if I ever gain something when it’s like a boat… but it’s so hard, I’m currently very exhausted abt how much effort it takes from me to eat decent “amount” aint easy for tiny ppl like us🥺🤧✊🏻🐙❤️‍🩹 at all 😭🤞🏻
Anxiety wrapped my sadness up
Anxiety Support / by livbinny
Last post
 December 1st
...See more Hey ppl…. i just wanna say this to those that will relate or having the same issue w GAD. so basically, even now as my inner child is still devastated n I’m trying to navigate my self pity n all the other taxing emotions since I have to protect myself at home it’s much harder to fight this battle by yourself plus the physical pain of these days, staying in bed n getting tired so easily is huge… what I rly noticed more n more is how this anxiety turns into way to protect me n makes me feel sad so much more or gives me those intrusive thoughts I’m having for years without a real cause… it’s the huge fear of not being able to control some of ur bodily processes n the fear in general if u were about to lost control over ur organs…. i know it sounds scary n tbh these thoughts came even before I encountered such anxiety in my life,,,,it’s weird itself but it hurts my soul when I have to comfort myself alone… n just say it’s gonna be ok or not having ppl or somebody physically here by my side to tell me that… I can be n get anxious abt anything …from everything some anxiety sparks. more or less, blessed are times where I don’t feel it at all!! even now as I’m writing this in utmost tired n drained person… I rly feel that my emotions only need the comfort n understanding so if u can give me that today, I would be thankful🙏🏻
What helps u comfort yourself back ?
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 November 26th
...See more hello ppl thus is for those who like me - every day fall into same old path of feelings of being unloved, alone n unwell without anyone to comfort you, that place of a true real friend is always empty beside you it’s sad n I can’t help trust me I don’t wanna I even think of how to avoid future feelings like this but I still dwell on them heavily once they come back… to all of this I’m even tired w my fam issues…nothing seems to end n thwre aren’t many solutions only to protect myself n going w their new limitations, it’s horrible… what helps u think differently under self pity n how u find that comfort n joy within urself when u need it but feel like unable to do so? would like to know🙏🏻 I’m trying hard, trust me. maybe u got something special or unique to u n I would like to hear it out! What it is, how it helps u n what u think of my situation here… im just tired of everything that’s going on once the next realization hits n awareness comes that ppl don’t change n many times it’s almost useless to fight….
Would like your sparks of joy
Positivity & Gratitude / by livbinny
Last post
 December 2nd
...See more Hello ppl im still very unwell this week, in bed, easily tired n it feels n gets so hard bcs when I’m aware that I never had the proper support or comfort n have to hold myself w my plushies every single time. i always feel n see it’s only me w myself…. i rly don’t wanna dwell on these sad feelings but they drag me in each time cuz yeah, true, u never had enough care… im still on my own to retrieve or seek for new info whatever that may be when I’m uncertain, I keep asking other sources bcs I have no one to tell me stuff or to help me or reassure me yk? I’m holding strong n I am here for myself but I would like your support n things that give you that comfort back🙏🏻💜 thanks…
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