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CatListener
62 149,887
L Veteran 12
4.5 star rating
Rating
Welcome! Meow
Number of ratings136 Number of reviews61 Listens toOver 18 LanguagesEnglish, Spanish Listener sinceJun 26, 2018 Last activein last week GenderFemale PathStep 376 People helped657 Chats2,126 Group support chats8 Listener group chats22 Forum posts55 Forum upvotes95
Bio

Hello! I'm Cat. 25 years from Buenos Aires, Argentina. Proud to be here helping as a Volunteer Listener on 7cups since 2018. Currently only taking chats on the following topics...


Topics: 

Women's and men's issues

CPTSD (Complex trauma), PTSD and narcissistic abuse

Sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse

Domestic violence

Toxic family system 

LGBTQ community issues

My role as a Listener and how I can help:

Informating and educating about abuse

Understanding and assisting in victims of abuse detecting what is right from wrong

Emotional support for people who feel marginalised and alone

Practical activities 










Recent forum posts
Don't get out of the comfort zone...
Trauma Support / by CatListener
Last post
 Saturday
...See more It makes sense that, as a trauma survivor, you seek comfort and stability. The idea that "growth only happens outside the comfort zone" isn't always true, especially for those with complex trauma (CPTSD). For survivors, the "comfort zone" can be a place of healing, safety, and regulation—all of which are essential for recovery. Instead of "pushing" yourself out of the comfort zone, you might consider expanding it slowly and intentionally. This way, growth happens without overwhelming your nervous system. Steps like setting small, achievable goals, prioritizing self-compassion, and establishing boundaries are all ways to grow without abandoning safety. Staying in your comfort zone doesn’t mean stagnation—it can mean choosing peace over chaos. And that’s a radical act of self-love, especially if you’ve lived in survival mode for too long.
Male victims: You are not alone!
Men's Issues / by CatListener
Last post
 Saturday
...See more Are you a male victim of domestic violance? You are not alone Prvalence and Misconceptions Underreporting: Male victims often underreport abuse due to stigma, shame, and societal expectations of masculinity. Men may feel pressure to "tough it out" or fear they won't be believed. Prevalence: Studies suggest that men experience domestic violence at rates comparable to women. According to some reports, nearly 1 in 4 men experience intimate partner violence (IPV) at some point in their lives. Misconceptions: There's a stereotype that men can't be victims of domestic violence, especially when the abuser is a woman. This belief can prevent male victims from recognizing abuse or seeking help. Types of Abuse Experienced by Men Physical Abuse: Hitting, slapping, pushing, or using weapons against men. Emotional and Psychological Abuse: Insults, belittling, manipulation, gaslighting, and isolation from friends or family. Sexual Abuse: Forced sexual acts or coercion. This form of abuse is rarely discussed when it comes to male victims, but it exists. Financial Abuse: Controlling access to money, sabotaging employment, or forcing a man to hand over his income. Legal Abuse: Threatening to make false accusations of abuse, manipulating the legal system to gain custody of children, or making false reports to the police. Barriers to Seeking Help Shame and Stigma: Men may feel that admitting abuse is a sign of weakness. Fear of Not Being Believed: Law enforcement, courts, and even friends or family may not believe that a man can be a victim.
Men victim of abuse and domestic violence
Men's Issues / by CatListener
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more If you are a man and you have been a victim of emotional, physical or sexual abuse your situation is real and valid. It is not shameful. Your situation is valid. Men deserve love and support. Men can be as vulnerable as women. 
How to deal with inner critic
Trauma Support / by CatListener
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more Changing your inner critic involves transforming negative self-talk into more compassionate and constructive dialogue. Here's a step-by-step guide to help you shift this inner voice: 1. Identify the Inner Critic's Voice Pay attention to when negative thoughts arise. Write them down if you can. Recognize that this voice is not you—it’s a learned response, often shaped by past experiences or external criticism. 2. Challenge the Critic's Statements Question the validity of your inner critic’s messages. Ask yourself: "Is this thought true?" "Would I say this to a friend in a similar situation?" Replace harsh judgments with more balanced or neutral statements. 3. Practice Self-Compassion Treat yourself with the kindness you would show to a friend. When you make a mistake, remind yourself that everyone makes mistakes and it’s part of being human. Use affirmations: Replace critical thoughts with positive ones, like, "I am doing my best," or, "I am worthy, even if things don’t go perfectly." 4. Reframe Negative Thoughts Turn "I can't" into "I can try" or "This is hard now, but I can learn." Replace "I always fail" with "Sometimes I struggle, but I learn and grow." 5. Give Your Inner Critic a Persona Imagine your critic as a character or a voice from the past. This can help you distance yourself from it and take away its power. Some people find it helpful to visualize their critic as a misguided protector who thinks criticism will motivate them. 6. Focus on Strengths and Achievements Keep a journal where you note positive things about yourself and your accomplishments, no matter how small. When the critic appears, remind yourself of these strengths. 7. Practice Mindfulness and Awareness Mindfulness helps you observe your thoughts without judgment. Notice when your inner critic speaks, and calmly redirect your thoughts. Try meditation or deep breathing to stay grounded. 8. Seek Support Talk to friends, a therapist, or a support group about your inner critic. External perspectives can help you challenge negative self-beliefs. Reading self-help books or listening to podcasts on self-compassion can also be useful. 9. Develop a Growth Mindset View mistakes as opportunities to learn rather than failures. Focus on progress, not perfection. 10. Create a Positive Environment Surround yourself with people who uplift and support you. Reduce exposure to toxic environments or triggers that fuel your inner critic. Remember: Changing your inner critic takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself as you work on transforming this voice into a more supportive and understanding one.
How to deal with Narcissistic parent
Trauma Support / by CatListener
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more Dealing with a narcissistic parent as an adult child can be challenging, especially when you want to protect your emotional well-being and establish healthy boundaries. Here are some strategies to help you navigate this relationship: 1. Set Firm Boundaries Understand your limits: Before you engage with your narcissistic parent, define what behaviors are unacceptable to you (e.g., manipulation, verbal abuse, excessive criticism). Be clear and direct: Communicate your boundaries calmly and assertively. For example, "I will not engage in conversations where I am being shouted at or disrespected." Consistency is key: Enforce your boundaries consistently. Narcissists often push limits to see if they can get away with violating boundaries, so it’s important to stand firm. 2. Use the Grey Rock Technique What is it?: The grey rock method involves becoming emotionally unresponsive and as dull as possible during interactions. This means providing minimal responses, avoiding sharing personal information, and not engaging in arguments. Why it works: Narcissists thrive on attention, validation, and emotional reactions. By becoming "boring," you deprive them of what they want and make them less likely to engage with you in a manipulative way. How to apply it: Keep your answers short and neutral ("I’m fine, thank you" or "That’s interesting") and avoid engaging in their drama. Don’t show emotional highs or lows, as this can trigger further attempts to manipulate. 3. Coaching and Self-Respect Seek professional support: Narcissistic abuse can be damaging, and it might help to work with a coach or therapist who specializes in narcissistic relationships. They can offer guidance, coping mechanisms, and support to help you reclaim your power. Develop self-respect: Narcissistic parents often erode their children's self-worth. Work on building your self-esteem through self-care practices, therapy, setting and achieving small goals, and practicing self-compassion. Recognizing your inherent value is key to maintaining your mental health. Affirm your autonomy: As an adult child, remind yourself that you are your own person, separate from your parent. This means respecting your own needs, wants, and emotions, even if your parent tries to guilt-trip or manipulate you into neglecting them. 4. Limit Contact and Detach Emotionally Control the frequency of contact: You don’t have to maintain frequent contact with your narcissistic parent. If your relationship is damaging to your mental health, it’s okay to reduce the time you spend with them or even go no contact temporarily or permanently. Detach emotionally: Narcissists are skilled at triggering emotional responses. Try to detach from their manipulative tactics and remain unaffected. This can help you protect yourself from emotional exhaustion and drama. 5. Don’t Take Their Behavior Personally Understand their pathology: Narcissists tend to lack empathy and are often self-centered. Their behaviors are a reflection of their own insecurity and emotional deficits, not a reflection of your worth. Focus on your own well-being: Practice self-care and mental wellness. Recognize that you are not responsible for their behavior, nor can you fix them. You can only control how you respond. 6. Communicate Your Needs Be clear about your expectations: If you have to interact with your narcissistic parent, be clear about your needs. If they dismiss or invalidate them, try not to engage emotionally, and remember that their response is a reflection of them, not you. Don’t expect change: Narcissistic parents are unlikely to change, so try to adjust your expectations. This can help reduce frustration and disappointment when their behavior doesn’t improve. 7. Self-Care and Support System Create a support network: Surround yourself with people who respect and validate you. Having a solid support system can buffer the effects of a toxic relationship with your parent. Practice self-care: Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Regular exercise, hobbies, journaling, and mindfulness can help you stay grounded and reduce stress. 8. Reclaim Your Power Take control of your life: Set goals for yourself that are unrelated to your parent’s expectations or influence. Pursue your passions, career, relationships, and self-development. Accept that you may not receive their approval: Narcissistic parents often withhold validation or love as a means of control. Recognize that their approval is not necessary for you to lead a fulfilling, successful life. 9. Consider Going No Contact (if necessary) When to go no contact: If the relationship is too toxic and affecting your well-being, it may be necessary to cut ties completely. This is a personal decision that depends on the severity of the abuse or manipulation. Protect yourself emotionally: If you choose to go no contact, you may experience guilt or resistance from your parent. However, prioritize your mental health and healing. You deserve peace, respect, and autonomy. Dealing with a narcissistic parent is complex and can require ongoing effort. It’s important to continually prioritize your own well-being, set healthy boundaries, and seek professional support when needed.
How to go no contact with family
Trauma Support / by CatListener
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more Going no contact with family can be an extremely difficult and emotional decision, but it can also be necessary for protecting your mental health and well-being. Here are some steps you can consider when deciding to go no contact: Clarify your reasons: Understand clearly why you want to go no contact. Is it due to emotional abuse, manipulation, or toxic behavior? Knowing the reasons will help you stay grounded in your decision when emotions rise. Set firm boundaries: If you haven't already, begin by setting boundaries with your family. Limit your interactions gradually if that feels more comfortable before fully cutting ties. For example, reduce the frequency of communication, limit what you share, or set clear boundaries around specific topics. Plan your communication: If you choose to inform them of your decision, it can be helpful to write a letter or message to explain why you’re going no contact. Be clear, concise, and non-confrontational. You don't owe them a lengthy explanation, but setting boundaries respectfully might make the process smoother. You can simply say, “I need space to heal and take care of myself.” Prepare for emotional fallout: Family members may react with guilt, anger, or manipulation. Be prepared for this and remind yourself that your decision is about protecting your well-being, not about punishing them. Limit access to your personal information: Change any contact information that they might have access to, such as phone numbers, email addresses, or social media accounts. If necessary, block them to prevent further communication. Seek support: Going no contact can bring up complex emotions, including guilt, grief, and sadness. Having a support system of friends, therapists, or support groups can help you process these emotions and stay firm in your decision. Take care of your emotional health: Focus on self-care, therapy, and any other resources that support your healing journey. No contact can be emotionally draining, so be kind to yourself as you navigate this change. Reevaluate if needed: Going no contact doesn't have to be permanent. You can choose to go no contact for a set period, or you may eventually decide to open communication under your own terms, once you've healed and feel stronger. Remember that going no contact is an act of self-preservation, and it's okay to prioritize your mental health.
Self coaching help for Trauma
Trauma Support / by CatListener
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more 1. Acknowledge the Trauma Begin by acknowledging the impact of your trauma. This doesn’t mean reliving it, but recognizing that your past experiences shape your present feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Coaching Focus: Reflect on the trauma and how it has affected your sense of self, relationships, and life choices. Identify the patterns that keep you feeling stuck (e.g., ruminating, avoiding) and acknowledge that these are survival mechanisms. 2. Identify Core Beliefs and Thought Patterns CPTSD often leads to negative core beliefs, such as "I’m not worthy," "I can't trust anyone," or "I don’t deserve peace." These beliefs are deeply ingrained but can be challenged. Coaching Focus: Identify limiting beliefs and negative self-talk that stem from trauma. Use techniques like cognitive reframing to replace negative beliefs with empowering, compassionate alternatives. Introduce mindfulness practices to observe thoughts without attachment. 3. Set Small, Achievable Goals Healing from CPTSD can feel overwhelming, so breaking it down into manageable steps is key. Set small goals to help you feel a sense of progress and control over your life. Coaching Focus: Create short-term, realistic goals that contribute to your well-being (e.g., practicing self-care daily, establishing a consistent routine). Celebrate small wins to build confidence and self-efficacy. Set boundaries in relationships to protect your energy and maintain a sense of safety. 4. Regulate Your Emotions Trauma survivors often experience intense emotions like anxiety, shame, or anger. Learning how to regulate these emotions is essential for healing. Coaching Focus: Introduce grounding techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or visualizations to help you stay present during overwhelming moments. Create a list of self-soothing activities (e.g., exercise, journaling, creative expression) that can help you process emotions in a healthy way. Practice emotional awareness, identifying your emotions early and addressing them before they become overwhelming. 5. Build Resilience Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity. For those with CPTSD, this means gradually learning to trust yourself and your ability to handle difficult situations. Coaching Focus: Reflect on your past successes, no matter how small, and recognize the strength you've shown in surviving difficult experiences. Develop coping strategies for future challenges, such as seeking support, using mindfulness, or practicing self-compassion. Focus on creating a growth mindset—viewing setbacks as opportunities for learning rather than failure. 6. Rebuild Trust in Yourself and Others Trust is often broken in CPTSD, both in oneself and in others. Part of healing involves learning to trust again. Coaching Focus: Explore the concept of trust and how it has been impacted by your trauma. Start by setting boundaries with others and practicing saying "no" to protect your emotional well-being. Reconnect with your own intuition and inner wisdom, trusting yourself to make decisions that align with your values and needs. 7. Create a Supportive Environment Healing requires the right environment—one that is emotionally safe and nurturing. This includes people who respect your boundaries, as well as a physical space that promotes calm and peace. Coaching Focus: Assess your relationships and remove or distance yourself from toxic influences. Build a support network that includes people who understand your experience and are committed to your healing journey. Cultivate a space in your home or routine that promotes relaxation, creativity, or peace. 8. Cultivate Self-Compassion Trauma survivors often struggle with self-blame and feelings of unworthiness. Cultivating self-compassion is essential for healing. Coaching Focus: Practice self-kindness, treating yourself as you would treat a loved one who is struggling. Challenge negative self-judgments by reframing them with empathy and understanding. Introduce daily affirmations or gratitude practices to build a positive, loving relationship with yourself. 9. Embrace Your Healing Journey Healing is not linear, and setbacks will occur. However, every step you take is part of your growth. Embrace the process and be patient with yourself. Coaching Focus: Develop a mindset of curiosity, viewing each step as part of your unique healing journey. Reflect regularly on your progress, noting how far you’ve come, even in small ways. Stay connected to your deeper purpose and the values that will guide your healing path. Through coaching, you can create a personalized plan to heal from CPTSD. This plan should be rooted in self-awareness, emotional regulation, resilience-building, and self-compassion. Each step of the process is an opportunity to reclaim your personal power and move toward a life of peace and fulfillment.
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Feedback & Reviews
Very kind and is also quick with responding back.
A good listener.
Good listener. Listen carefully and answer accordingly.
such a patient and amazing listener , listened to me for very long time without judgment and helped me through flashbacks of a traumatic event , she is a hidden gem
Buena charla, gracias por escucharme
Very empathetic on my problem. helped me to come up with an idea.
we connected like cat sisters, she read my feelings and it has been best time opening my heart to someone.
Very friendly and helpful.. thank you so much!
Very nice and straightforward!!
felt like i could just pour everything out. really thankful
Listener put me at ease and introduced me to healing :)
Active and good listener
She's a very nice person
Understands your actual issue and listens
me escucho y me ayudo, y me comprendió
Good and caring
Very nice listener, thanks a lot.
Good listener very nice
realmente es amable y te da una opinión sincera, sin importar que tan básico pueda llegar a ser tu problema.
Excellent listener
Caring listener
Supportive, responds in a timely manner, and made me feel better.
Listens and asks questions
Thanks for the help
best of all time
Very patient, very responsive and honest. It was nice talking to you Cat.
Very good listener
Caring and attentive
Very helpful! Would chat again.
This chat is going incredibly well so far, great listener, five stars
No solo me escuchó, sino que también me ayudó a poder trabajar de lo que me apasiona, super recomendable
amazing, thanks
muy comprensiva :)
excellent listener and non-judgemental.
Really helpful:)
Was a very good listener with great advice
Good listener
Good advice. Thanks
Cat was very open to listening to everything that I said. Glad she was there when I needed someone.
Great listener. Helped me vent and calm down
Amazing person truly cares about me helped me in my Time of need
Wow, a listener! She's listening to me and not offering advice (i.e. suggestions I've already tried). She deserves a medal.
Kind caring helpful
special soul
Very helpful and kind :)
she listened and told me useful thing to look at. I was whiny too
Very helpful made me feel better
A very helpful and kind listener
Great listener thanks
Terrific person and she really listened well and was non judgmental. Great chat.
Very nice and easy to talk to :)
Catlistener was so amazing. Even for such a young age, her perspective really helped me calm down and focus on the issues. I was crying and emotionally unstable in the beginning and by the end, I was laughing and realistic about my situation. Thank you Cat!
Very helpful and very caring.
So kind
Helped a lot
Very understanding and patient. I really felt like I was being listened to when I really needed someone to talk to.
Excellent
catbsolutely wonderful listener!
She is very helpful, kind, and supportive.
Good listener. Asks good questions. Professional and helpful. Thank you
Wonderful person and excellent listener.
Categories
Bullying
LGBTQ+ Issues
Breakups
Family Stress
Domestic Violence
Loneliness
PTSD
Relationship Stress
Women's Issues
Men's Issues
Dissociative Disorders
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